Are you lucky enough to have a best friend? or at least have known a deep trusting friendship?
Finding a true and loving friendship, the one that makes you feel happy, safe and secure, is so rare and special that when we do, we can’t help but wish that it would last forever.
Having friends like this can be the greatest pleasures in life.
So it can be devastating for us to lose them.
Saying “goodbye” to a best friend is heart breaking.
But trying to salvage a friendship that’s not meant to last, does more harm than good.
Loving someone means doing what’s best for them, even when it hurts you.
With that said, here are 6 Signs That Can Help You Realise That It’s Time To Let Go Of Your Best Friend.
1) You are second guessing your friendship.
Though you don’t want to admit it, you are second guessing the relationship.
Questioning what the point of the friendship is.
You’ve both changed so much that it’s almost as if you’re completely different people now.
You no longer have anything in common and don’t know what to talk about.
Conversations that were once easy going and fun, now feel constantly awkward and forced.
Everything you used to love doing with them, you’ve seemed to stop enjoying altogether.
No matter how much you want to hold onto the past and the way things used to be between you two, you know in your heart that everything’s just too different now.
2) You don’t communicate anymore.
Another common reason why friendship end, is because people tend to grow apart over time.
You and your best friend have both gone on your separate ways. but you’re still holding on and pretending like you have it.
You still see them as your best friend even if you haven’t kept in touch, you haven’t kept in touch or talked to them in ages.
You barely see each other anymore, and neither of you make any effort to get together.
You might want to pretend as if this is normal, especially if you’re either busy or live far apart from one another.
At some point though, It will all start sounding like empty excuses to you.
3) You want different things.
We all have plans and goals that we want to achieve in our lives. and sometimes pursuing them can mean to let certain people go.
It’s hard when you and your best friend want different, every different things for yourselves and staying in the friendship means sacrificing one or another’s hopes and dreams.
Asking someone to give that up for you, will only make them resent you for it in the end.
4) You’ve found other friends.
You may not realise that you and your best friend are already drifting apart, until you make new close friends.
When being with people, other than your BESTIE feels more compatible and comfortable, that’s already a clear sign that it’s time to let go. Or at least accept that the friendship isn’t what it was and the status of “BEST FRIEND” drop.
This doesn’t mean the new friends will treat you better or that you like them more than your best friend.
It simply means that you belong more with them than you do with your old friend and that you owe it to yourself, and to them to be honest about it.
5) They’ve broken your trust.
This is a particularly a sad reason for ending a friendship
Unfortunately, it does happen.
Trust is, after all, the foundation of any healthy relationship. Without it, things can never move forward or get better between you and your best friend
Maybe you’ve just had one fight or too many or you’ve said some things to each other that can’t be taken back either way, there’s been too much hurt to save the friendship.
Collins & Van Dulmen 2006 study states that although repeated forgiveness and moving on is an option, the best thing you can do at that point, is to start over and find peace with someone else.
6) You are the only one holding on.
Finally if you feel that the effort to keep the friendship alive is virtually one sided with you being the load bearer then it might be time to end things with this person
As much as it hurts to be rejected, especially by someone you’ve considered to be your closest and dearest friend.
Trying to force them to change their mind is still wrong.
If they don’t want you in their life anymore spare yourself the endignity and leave.
Asking for answers to get closure is an option.
Anymore than that though is not recommended.
Generally speaking, it’s not good for your self-esteem and mental health to stay with someone who clearly doesn’t want you.
No matter how you look at it, letting go of someone you love is one of the most difficult and painful decisions you’re ever going to make in life.
You may experience a cycle of grieving with stages of anger, denial and sadness before accepting it.
Through it all though, you’ll understand that deep down inside that it is the right thing to do. Some things are just meant to come apart and that’s okay.
People are meant to change and mature.
Moving forward in life means learning and growing from your past not being held back by it.