Narcissism is a serious personality disorder that has many damaging effects.
It seems like common sense to stay away from those who exhibit excessive selfish behavior, but what if they’re your own parents?
Here are Seven Subtle Signs of Narcissistic Parenting.
1: They’re self-centered and make you join the show too
Everyone is self-cautious and cares to a certain point what other people think about them, that’s human nature.
But do you ever wonder why your parents act so differently at home than they’re out in public?
Even for narcissist, their slips and the mask comes off.
Narcissistic parents take pride in flaunting their social status, physical appearance, material possessions and accomplishments.
But when they no longer have an audience once they pull up in the driveway, they stop with the nice act. They either criticize or talk about others behind their back.
2: You can’t receive gifts without feeling like there’re strings attached.
Giving presents is supposed to be a selfless deed.
It’s about celebrating the other person’s who’s receiving the gift; whether it’s on their birthday, graduation or just because.
So why does it feel like there are consequences when you receive one from a narcissist?
The narcissistic parent knows how to guilt trip you if you don’t love or use their gift.
And when it comes to buying presents for them, forget having to brainstorm, they usually tell you or demand for what they want in return.
3: When you try to set boundaries, they get offensive.
If there’s one thing a narcissistic parent loves is control.
Because treating the child like an equal would mean they aren’t superior or above them.
If you live with a narcissistic parent, some of these might sound familiar; they go through your room without your permission and throw away some of your possessions.
They dictate your extracurricular activities or classes you can take and they set unrealistic expectations on you without hearing what you have to say first.
But when you do stand up for yourself, they get easily hurt or are offensive and use excuses like; it was just spring cleaning or I’m just doing what’s best for you.
4: You feel like you’re their puppet more than you are their child.
Dress-up and make-believe is fun as a kid, but narcissistic mothers take that to a whole nether serious level.
Patients of narcissistic parents were interviewed by psychologists and one of them said her mom used to love dolling her up in cute dresses even though she was a tomboy by nature.
She believe that her mom’s self-worth when she will receive compliments for her parents.
Under eyes of a narcissistic parent, the child acts as a medium they can live through.
This is how the child’s individuality becomes diminished, replacing it with their own selfish desires.
5: They feel hurt when you don’t include them in your decisions.
Psychotherapist Daniel Sobel says that a narcissistic parent operates from self-protection, and if the ego is bruised or they feel the decision was made they could not control, they become cruel, blaming and offensive.
A healthy parent decides how many sweets their child can have after dinner but a narcissistic parent will want to govern everything; what kind of career you can have, who you can date and when you can move out.
Nothing scares them more than when we start thinking for yourself and no longer need their validation.
6: You feel like you can’t make good decisions without them.
Narcissistic parenting creates a codependent relationship between the parent and child.
This can make the child anxious and feel lost without the parents help.
But that’s exactly what they want.
Often, the child will grow feeling confused and invalidated when their thoughts and feelings were ignored.
Often, the child will grow up feeling confused and invalidated when their thoughts and feelings were ignored.
Although going through puberty is already a dizzying experience, a narcissistic parent will make sure to tear down your self-identity too, leaving you feeling more helpless than ever.
By doing this, they make me depend on them to feel your own self-worth.
7: They know how to turn the table and play the victim.
No matter how reasonable or logical your argument is, the narcissistic parent will find a way to manipulate you and point fingers.
Narcissists never take responsibility for their actions and marginalize your needs and feelings.
This is how they play mind games with you, but they get off easy because they play their victim card well.
Not anymore though, now that you know about these signs, you no longer have to participate in the cruelty.