Moving on can be one of the hardest thing to do, especially after the first failed relationship.
We’re not going to tell you it gets easier, nor are we going to tell you there are plenty of fish in the sea, heartbreak hurts.
What we will tell you though is eventually their hurting will subside, maybe not now, tomorrow or next week, but things will start to look up again as you spend time growing with close loved ones and rediscover yourself.
Are you ready to tie the loose threads once and for all?
Here are seven signs you’re ready for closure.
1. You’ve accepted that things don’t work out
You’re not clinging on to any more false hope nor are you considering this last meet-up as an opportunity to fix things.
You’ve come to terms with the fact that it was either bad timing, incompatibility or the lack of compromise that has prevented the relationship from growing.
You’re not looking to justify your actions or criticize your partner anymore, you just want answers.
2: You’re ready to take responsibility.
Some might argue that you’d be wasting your time trying to find closure, so why is it for many that finding reason is still important?
It’s simple, psychologists believe that only after understanding the situation, people can restructure and understand the past, present and future better.
In a large part of this process, also means taking responsibility for your actions.
You realize that you too took a part in this relationship and you’re willing to trust yourself to make better decisions.
3: You’ve stopped blaming the other person.
You’ve moved past the bitter feelings of resentment.
You realize that blaming the other person isn’t going to change anything.
Relationship experts believe that many people go into a relationship without assessing their own values.
It’s only along the way that when those values clash with another that the relationship often suffers.
You want this closure to highlight those moments of disagreement and accept that too you have different values instead of resenting them for it.
4: You’ve stopped blaming yourself.
Self-blame can be common, especially if you don’t have a strong sense of self.
It’s hard not to blame yourself after being vulnerable and intimate with someone when you place so much emphasis on what you gave. But psychologist Alicia Clark states “self-forgiveness helps you get to the rock bottom of why your relationship unsuccessful and prepares you for your next relationship. You’re not perfect, so don’t beat yourself up over it”.
5: You want to take important lessons from what went wrong.
When you’re ready for closure, you no longer necessarily want to react, but rather, you’d like to process the situation from an objective point of view.
You realize that the only way to go forward is to assess the mistakes and become proactive in the future so as not to reiterate them.
6: You understand that the pain is inevitable but temporary.
You might still cry at the thought of your partner and that’s OK.
Even years later, it might still hurt when a certain memory is triggered, that’s why healing is such a complicated process.
It’s never straightforward, never what we want, but once we’ve begun to recognize that it’s not going to be forever, you’re already moving on.
7: You’re ready to hear things you might not want to hear.
What does it mean to let go?
A lot of it comes down to openness.
Being aware of the loss but not letting it consume you and hearing things that will hurt but are necessary.
The truth isn’t always kind, easy, or convenient, but how we welcome it, that is ultimately always our choice.