What is love?
For those of us who have experienced love, we know for a fact that it exists, and maybe that’s enough.
But how do we know if we were ever truly in love?
Here eight signs your feelings were real all along.
1. You shared your deepest secrets; true love is all about trust.
You never put up walls.
In fact, you usually do the exact opposite.
Lovers are desperate to show their true selves, wearing their heart on their sleeves and holding nothing back.
So if you two shared your deepest, darkest secrets, there’s a good chance it was true love.
2. You didn’t gossip about your love; true love feels incredibly special.
All of a sudden the entire world fades away into a blurry backdrop, you become the sharp focus of each other’s lives.
As cheesy as it sounds, love is all that matters.
That’s why true lovers don’t really gossip about their relationship.
Your partner is the only person who understands what you’re going through, because no one else understands your unique connection.
True lovers strive to keep that special feeling alive and private.
3. You never tried to control them.
There’s an old saying which perfectly sums this up “if you love something set it free.
If it comes back, it’s yours”.
True lovers don’t try to control or constrict one another.
Although this sounds like a pretty simple idea, a lot of people don’t fully understand what it means.
True love isn’t about ownership.
When we try to control someone, we grab on tight, not letting it out of our grasp.
When we love someone, we completely let go. Why? Because we want to see them fly.
4. You never use ultimatums.
How long have you’ve known your crush?
Here’s another big cliché you’ve probably heard a million times before; true love is unconditional.
But what does that mean?
This basically means that you don’t look for excuses to end things if you’re truly in love.
If you have relationship issues, you see them as hurdles to overcome, not reasons to back out.
Obviously there are always legitimate reasons to leave an unhealthy relationship; violence and cheating are just two examples.
But if you threaten to leave unless your partner caught a better job or stop dressing a certain way, your love probably wasn’t the real deal.
5. Love and hate.
You probably think that love and hate are exact opposites, right?
Well, that just isn’t true.
The real opposite of love is indifference.
Because both love and hate require you to care about the other person.
Love and hate are entwined in a way that few people fully realize.
This concept was explored in a 2017 study called The Deeper the Love the Deeper the
Researcher has found that when people experience intense love, they are more likely to experience equally intense hate after the romance ends.
In fact, research suggests that the brain circuits involved in love and hate are the same.
You can refer to the sources in the description later.
6. Things never became routine;
Clinical psychologists and marriage counselor Randy Gunther once laid out nine signs of what she believes to be true love.
Surprise and intrigue were right at the top of that list.
She explained that true love never becomes a routine.
It never feels like you’re just going through the motions.
Real lovers spend entire lifetimes joyfully discovering every little detail about each other.
It never gets old.
This idea also extends to sex, which is an important part of most loving relationships. The physical aspect of true love is always rich with excitement and possibilities, the sky does become bluer.
7. The feeling of home;
At the bottom of her list Randy Gunther wrote one simple word “home”.
For true lovers, this word really hits the nail on the head.
So, what does it mean?
When you’re with someone you love, you just feel completely at ease, but it’s more than just feeling comfortable.
The feeling of home means safety, trust and warmth.
Being home means you can let your guard down.
In many ways, it’s an emotion that we can’t really put into words, but we know one thing, we really resonate with Randy Gunther’s final point.
What do you think?
You see a future with them; maybe as you’re watching this video, you’re looking back and realizing that your love was real all along.
This could be a beautiful revelation, but it might also be painful.
Before you lose hope, ask yourself whether or not you still see yourself with your ex-partner in the future.
If you answered “yes”, then there’s no doubt about it, it really was true love all along.
And who knows, you might still have your happily ever after.