Are your friendships or relationships usually short-lived?
If yes, what do you think could be the underlying reason?
What sorts of beliefs do you have about friendships and relationships?
Are those beliefs accurate, or are they distorted? When your beliefs are distorted, it can lead you to behaviors that sabotage your friendships and leave you neglecting yourself. In this article, we will be covering five distorted beliefs that will ruin your friendships and relationships.
1: Am I replaceable?
If you have ever felt replaced in a friendship or relationship before, you are not alone.
However, having the belief that you will always be replaced in future friendships or relationships may not be emotionally healthy for you. Many of us hold on to this belief due to the fear of similar past experiences repeating itself.
But is it really helpful?
Who knows? You might meet new friends or a special person who truly appreciates and treasures you for who you really are.
2: I am meant to be alone
Do you subconsciously tell yourself you’re destined to be alone after difficult friendships or failed relationships?
This belief of feeling like you are destined to be alone can be derived from the difficulty in communicating your thoughts and emotions which can result in feelings of loneliness.
If you feel like you are meant to be alone, you are not. You deserve to have friends or family who care about you.
3: Assuming they do not care
Adopting this belief can be detrimental to friendships and relationships as there is a presence of assumptions, mistrust, and Miscommunication which could lead to disagreements. At times, your friends may give you the impression that they do not care.
However, it may not always be the situation.
Different people show care differently, and different people have their own definitions of feeling cared for.
4: Assuming they understand you
Are you guilty of not communicating how you truly feel or think directly to others because you assume that they are able to read your mind and understand you–?
Assumptions create uncertainty, and we may end up creating false scenarios in our minds which may lead to further misunderstanding. Even the most intuitive people are not mind readers.
5: I am unlovable
Have you ever been labeled as unlovable or something similar by your parents, a lover, or ex-lover?
How did you feel when they said that?
This might cause you to internalize this belief and behave in a way that will sabotage your relationships and friendships.
You are afraid to show others who you really are because you believe people would not like you if they knew the real you.
But do you really think this is true?
So, why do many of us have beliefs like this?
Studies done by the American Psychological Association and others have shown that our brains are wired to think negatively, and it can be a form of a defense mechanism
One important thing to understand is that friendships or relationships can come and go due to different reasons.
Don’t blame yourself too much if things do not work out.
It can be difficult to open up to new friends or partners due to negative past experiences. But the right person will be accepting of your flaws, and inspire you to be a better person